Recognition
by Dorkylokifan
Summary: Warning: Spoilers for Civil War! This is an addendum to the end of the movie. Inspired by the fight scene where Natasha asks Bucky if he recognizes her at all. This is Part 1 of a series. Natasha/Bucky.
The mists of the jungle fogged up the view of Wakonda. Though he was still a wanted man, for the first time in a long time he had a measure of freedom. He had his memories back which was both a blessing and a curse. It meant that he could look at Steve and remember the punk runt from Brooklyn that had asthma and 4F stamped on his draft card. It also meant that he could remember every person he ever killed, including Tony's parents. But he also remembered other things, between the missions, torture, and sedation there was the training in the Red Room.

During the fighting Natasha had asked him if he even recognized her at all. He hadn't, not then. Not after Zemo had spoken the magic words to turn him into a mindless order taking killing machine. But now, his time in the Red Room rushed to the fore of his mind. His handlers had used Bucky for more than just missions, they'd used him to train other operatives.

"Hey Buck, you should eat. You need rest too." Steve said.

"My mind is full. I don't think my stomach will tolerate food at the moment." Bucky said, turning away from the window. His eyes connected with Natasha's, and guilt ripped through his like a lightning bolt.

"Well if you change your mind, there's stuff to make sandwiches in the kitchen." Steve said. He saw the way his friend was looking at Natasha. And she was returning the look. They were both haunted and horrified.

"Hey is there something you two aren't telling me? Buck, you can't just take off again." Steve said.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Bucky and I need to talk Steve."

"What about?" Steve asked, not in the mood to tolerate secrets among his teammates at the moment.

"It's private Steve. Bucky and I know each other from The Red Room."

"What? Why didn't you tell me?" Steve asked.

"It's private Steve." Bucky said. Steve noted the minor uptick in sexual tension and backed off.

"Oh, I see. Look, whatever this is, we've all had a long day. No more fighting, agreed?"

"Agreed." Bucky and Natasha said. Steve left the room and headed to his room.

"You do remember me." Natasha said.

"Yes. I broke in a lot of girls over the years. Most of them, I can't remember their names or faces, but you were different. After you, whenever they shoved me back into the freezer, I'd think of your face before the blackness took me."

"It never occurred to me that you had feelings. You were so cold and methodical, but so was I so…I guess we both knew showing sentiment would've caused trouble. It's not like we had privacy."

"I hated fucking you in front of those people. I often wondered how many of those sick fucks were laughing at us or masturbating behind the mirror."

"All of them I'm sure."

"The seduction phase of your training, I actually enjoyed that. You pretended to love me and I pretended to be duped…except that…I wasn't really pretending. For a tiny fraction of time, I was able to act normal and say loving sentimental things." Bucky said as he sat down next to her on the couch.

"So you weren't acting. Bucky, you've got a long way to go in your recovery. You can't latch onto me like a life raft just because I'm a familiar face. That's what Steve is for. If anything, I'm a ghost from your past here to haunt you. I'll impede your recovery."

"How did you manage it?"

"With time and a good friend to help me, but I haven't endured what you have. You need more." She said. She looked over the man that took her virginity all those years ago. It had been so clinical. Though he was now missing his metal arm, had a scruffy shadow, and long hair that needed to be cut, he was still handsome. His cupid lips and gorgeous eyes outshone the haggardness of his appearance.

"I need tenderness and love."

"I don't know if I'm available." She said. Bucky quirked an eyebrow at that. Either a person is or isn't, how can she not know if she is available? "I fell in love with someone, but he ran off, afraid of the world and what he is, he couldn't see a future for us I guess. He begged me to flee with him but I couldn't. The timing was bad, and when I finally did offer to go with him, he left me behind."

"And you're afraid that if you started something with me and he showed back up, you'd have to break my heart? Is that it?"

"Something like that. Yeah."

"Then I'll just have to find a way to make you choose me instead." Bucky said.


End file.
